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When You Have a Significant Other and Your Friends Do Not

I have been with my now-fiancé for almost six years, so we have gone through the majority of high school together and now college as well. My fiancé and I are in the same friend group, we all have the same friends, and we hang out together almost every day. But this can cause some discomfort for our friends since we were the only people dating anyone for a while. It was a big challenge, and it took a lot of conversation and openness with our friends to be able to get to the point that we are at right now. I will be giving you some tips on how to handle this especially as you go into college, which is a big change from high school.

I think the first thing to know is to not be exclusive, but make sure to make time for one another. It is easy to be exclusive at school and just hang out with your significant other for the majority of the time. And do not get me wrong, it is a great thing to be able to hang out and spend quality time with your significant other, but get a good feel for how it is making your friends feel. If you and your significant other are in the same friend group already, then that is a huge bonus because that means you can hang out with your friend groups with your significant other at the same time. This allows you to build relationships with your significant other’s friends while also spending quality time with your significant other.

Also, just open communication with all parties is important. You need to be able to talk freely about the situation and not feel too awkward talking to your friends. Your friends, no matter the gender, will want to spend time with you by yourself, and that is a good thing. It may be hard at first to find the balance that works for your relationship, but being open with your significant other about the expectations you have with spending quality time with your friends will help your relationship with that person and also with your friends.

Coming into college, it is important to not only build your relationship with the person you are dating but also with your friends. It may be challenging, but if you gain one thing from this I want you to learn that open communication will only help you in the long run.


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